Pic courtesy of Magyver
This has got
to fall under either the "OMG" or "WTF?" heading, LOL... Oh, my... It's "Unnamed Source" time again, and this time it's the Canal Street Chronicles with the story. Personally I don't really give a rat'sazz if the story is legit or not, (although CSC wrote like it is) I just think it's funny! ...lmao. Hmmm... They posted it as "New Orleans Saints Satire", that might be a clue.
For the moment let's imagine that their story about Roger Goodell hiring Don Henley
of the Eagles rock band to be the new CEO of professional football is actually true. CSC claims that this wasn't a snap decision by Goodell, they say he's been working on this for a while.
The CSC Editor's take:
At first glance, his title makes me think he'll be covering up prostitution scandals and making sure NFL executives have enough cocaine and alcohol on business trips.
Roger Goodell's supposed statement:
It feels great to know the league values me enough to provide me with a live, running theme song! That's how I know I've finally made it to the top. I figure, if Sean Payton can hang with Jimmy Buffett, I needed a guy too.
Mr. Henley has been hired to play some of his greatest hits while following me around on a Segway. I feel this move will provide me with the correct mindset while conducting any and all business proceedings. His value to the league and my ego are inseparable and will help me tackle the tough issues facing the league.
The first question that occurred to me is how will that affect their creditability? The obvious answer of course is that's very little Roger Goodell could do at this point to ruin the NFL's credibility more than he already has. You have to wonder if Henley is up for the job since he quit playing for the Eagles rock band before some of you guys were born, in 1980.
Hmmm... Perhaps Goodell hired Henley for his solid, proven history of profitable business management. Naah... Want to know why Henley was reluctant to take the job? The story goes that Henley was concerned that it might mess up his Social Security retirement money, no kidding. Henley's second major concern was that working for the NFL might mess up his "ObamaCare", lmao... Having said that, Roger must be steadily looking for new ways for us to make fun of him, lol.
Possible Don Henley signing bonuses:
* Lifetime supply of Depends with NFL logo's.
* Lifetime supply of Metamucil, Exlax, Digitalis, Tuck's Medicated Pads, Preparation H, suppositories, and Viagra.
In Don Henley's defense it appears that knowing anything about football has never been high on the NFL's priority list. None of the NFL lawyers seem to know a damn thing about it, and Prosecutor Mary Jo White thinks football's the same thing as soccer. They should have considered Jon Bon Jovi: at least Jon owns the Philadelphia Soul, an Arena Football League team.
Oops, I almost forgot. As you can see I was rooting for Mick Jagger because I had already created a new NFL logo at the top of the article for submission to Goodell.